Quivering With Anticipation

Tomorrow's Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving just might be my favorite holiday. ALL THAT FOOD!! It's incredible. Speaking of food and gluttony, I'm reminded of a bit by Patton Oswalt on Black Angus Steakhouses:

"At Black Angus, we'll start you off with our appetizer platter, featuring five jumbo deep-fried gulf shrimp, served on a disk of salted butter, with our cheese-and-butter dippin' sauce, pork cracklins, and 15 of our potato-bacon-bombs! Then we'll take you to our mile-long "Soup and Salad Bar" featuring bacon-and-cheese-cream soup and our five-head of iceberg lettuce HE-MAN SALAD, served in a punch-bowl, with 18 pounds of ranch dressin', pork-stuffed-deep-fried croutons, and what the hell a couple of corndogs! Then we'll wheel out our bottomless trough of FRIED DOUGH! Cause then we'll bring out our 55-oz Las Masa HE-MAN steak-slab, served with a deep-fried pumpkin stuffed with buttered scallops, and 39 of our potato-bacon-bombs. And then bend-over Abigail Mae, cause here comes the GRAVY PIPE!

BLACK ANGUS, DOORS LOCK FROM THE OUTSIDE FAGGOT!

At Black Angus, you're name is Peaches."

Things To Do Before I Die

Most people at some point make a list of things to do before they die. I have not ... until now. Here’s my list of things I want to do and/or experience before I die. Albeit a bit unconventional, it’s still my list nonetheless.

1) Eat an entire chocolate cake by myself

2) Write a screenplay roughly based on my life experiences

3) Create a new language that doesn’t use any verbs

4) Experience the exhilaration of police brutality

5) Knee Dane Cook in the groin

6) Feed my grandmother pot-brownies

7) KILL THAT CAT!! That cat is constantly plotting against me. I MUST destroy him before he destroys me!

8) Set a car on fire

9) Run for president, become elected, and then take the nation to war based on faulty intelligence and a vendetta against the man whom my father could not defeat; declare the mission "accomplished" several years/decades before it actually is; and then be hated by everyone in the nation for the rest of my presidency.

10) Discover a cure for hemorrhoids and not tell anyone what it is.

11) Read a book

12) Have my own television talk show on which I have complete creative control over and would be able to humiliate pretentious celebrities on.

13) Go on a bizarre foods trip to southeast Asia with Andrew Zimmern

14) Pay a child at a lemonade stand $20 for a single glass ... then upon drinking it, call the Health Department saying that the child was charging for the lemonade while making it in less than satisfactory sanitary conditions. I then would claim the lemonade gave me entamoebic dysentery and sue the child’s parents for everything they’re worth.

15) Open my own live bait shop.

16) Go whaling

17) Get lost in the desert on a horse with no name

18) Become a famous pop star even though I couldn’t sing or dance, get hooked on drugs and alcohol, have a couple kids with a retarded person, shave my head, be forced to go into rehab, refuse to quit using drugs, get booed on a pseudo award show on MTV, have my kids taken away from me and given the to retarded person, go back into rehab, and end up being found dead in my bathroom with a bathtub filled with maple syrup and a Mexican midget wearing a clown costume.

19) Coin the phrase "SEMPER FUDGE!"

20) Read a book to an underprivileged child


Onto a totally unrelated topic, today at the Dauner-Martin trails in Fenton I saw a bunch of Golden-crowned Kinglets and a Hairy Woodpecker.

Talk to ya later!

Life Bird!

I stopped by the Dauner-Martin trails in Fenton this afternoon. I came across a mixed flock of sparrows that included White-throated Sparrows, a Chipping Sparrow, and many American Tree Sparrows. Yes, the Tree Sparrows were a life bird for me, so I was pretty excited. Also saw Northern Flickers, Red-bellied Woodpeckers, Downy Woodpecker, White-breasted Nuthatches, Robins, Blue Jays, lots of B-c Chickadees, Tufted Titmice, crows, and a few cardinals.

I'M LOSING MY MIND!

I’ve got so much going on at the moment, I’m literally starting to lose it. It seems working on graduation audits, applying to grad schools, looking for jobs, lab work, bird research, tutoring, and having five classes has sent me into a spiral of sleeplessness and borderline depression. Luckily, I’ve only got about three or four more weeks of this and I’m done ... until January when I start grad school. Can’t wait!

We'll Leave The Light On For Ya

Events for the day:
1) Slept in (it's sad when you equate 9:00am to sleeping in)
2) Did nothing for three hours
3) Help the bio sci club at the UM Homecoming thingy
4) Sat around until the game started
5) Watched the game until halftime, then went home
6) Finished watching the game at home
7) Watched TV
8) Started typing this

Also, counted 14 Hooded Mergansers at Genesys this evening.

Don't forget to set your clocks back!

Hooded Mergansers Make Me Happy

I stopped by Genesys Hospital this afternoon to go around their nature trails. In the wooded pond across from the Conference Center there were five Hooded Mergansers. Apparently they've been hanging around for a couple of weeks. There also were two Mallards, a Great Blue Heron, Great Egret, and the ubiquitous Canada Geese and Ring-billed Gulls.

Also, it's just over a month until I graduate!! I'm getting a racing heart and a bleeding anus just thinking about it!

Good day!